Today I am grateful for my mom.
I come up with these things at such random moments, like whilst brushing my teeth or watching the rain from the car. But then it’s worth asking, so what type of moments do I expect these things to come up?
I didn’t expect this to be the topic for today’s post since we butted heads today. My mom and I don’t agree on everything. We can’t expect to either. We grew up in completely different times and cultures, received very different educations, and are different people. It’s still hard for me to accept this emotionally because she’s my mom! Shouldn’t she get everything? My therapist reminded me aptly one session a few weeks ago that I have to accept (not only intellectually) that my parents, my brother, and I are all different people. This means we won’t agree on everything and we each have our own paths to live out. Yes, we are a unit as a family, and at the same time, we are also individuals within this unit. Secretly, I’m afraid of ‘being different’ which is a whole bunch of baloney since every person is unique and different than the next person. Does being afraid of ‘being different’ come from being afraid to living in a way that fulfills my heart and soul? Maybe, because what I seek for is apparently not the norm for a 20 year old woman.
All that being said, no matter what, my mom will always be my mom. She has given infinitely to our family and me. She endured 30+ hours of labor to birth me, and to this days still gives out so much physical and emotional labor for us. I have to appreciate her. It’s the least I can do.
I made it to Pilates, folks. I got up at 8:30 am 🙏🏼 and made it without turning off my alarm and falling back asleep. Pat on the back, Claire. Good job. Ate lunch. Had a heated conversation with my mom. Sent a couple emails. Watched ‘Very British Problems’ on Netflix, in preparation for my return to the birth land. Sat in a cafe reading and writing a bit while my mom did some TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) massage sort of thing. Came home. Ate dinner. Watched more Netflix and some YouTube.
My days have been pretty bland. I like writing these posts because when people read it, they’ll see that my life is not all glitz and glamor. I remember some girl from my high school once said to me something along the lines of, “I wish I had your life!” based predominantly on my social media posts. In my head I was just like WHY??? No… Ah. There are stretches of time when I’m just ‘potatoing’ and even though it’s not what I’d like to do for the rest of my life, it’s okay for now. So yeah. I’m not gonna make videos or post photos of me watching TV or sitting on the toilet but it doesn’t mean I don’t do those things.
If I don’t link these to Facebook, who even reads these? Besides you… You know who you are.